Happy Birthday!
by SentinelSaiyan
Summary: Rated for language and topic. Something's wrong with Jack. He goes to the infirmary to find out what. He couldn't have expected this! See story for warnings.
1. Prologue

_Disclaimer: Stargate SG-1 belongs to MGM Television Entertainment and Gekko Film Corporation. No copyright infringement is intended and no money has changed hands. _

Author's note: You can blame this on a couple of things. First, I've been reading a lot of SG-1 fics lately and I have them on the brain. Second, I just read a really spectacular fic by LadyS called "A Month In A Day" and something decided to click in my head. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it. Feedback, please! 

WARNING: MPREG, BUT NOT SLASH! (If that don't get your attention, nothing will! ^_~) I apologize for any screwups with the medical stuff. In my line of work, I have to know how to spell it, but understanding isn't as important. Also, everything I know about Greek Mythology, I learned from Hercules: TLJ. This could be considered a light crossover with that universe, though the only two characters to make an actual appearance will be Demeter and Ares. 

* * *

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 

* * *

PROLOGUE 

* * *

Colonel Jack O'Niell could not believe his ears. This could NOT be happening to him! "Escuse me!? I'm _what_!?" 

Dr. Janet Frasier sighed. She knew this wasn't going to be easy, but she had to get the telling and the yelling out of the way so they could figure out what to do next. "Pregnant, sir. A completely normal three-week-old fetus is currently growing in your abdominal cavity. How it got there, I don't have any idea. There is a complete amniotic sac and umbilical cord, and that's all connected to your own blood vessel system, so the fetus is definitely getting its nutrition from you. Until we know more about this, I'm going to proceed with all caution. I want you t start taking folic acid and calcium right now." She handed him two tablets and a glass of water. " Babies steal what they need from the bodies of those carrying them; that's why so many women have problems with osteoporosis later in life. You don't want to deal with that, trust me." 

Jack just shook his head. "Doc, how? How is this even remotely possible? Not only is it impossible for highly embarrassing and strictly personal reasons, but I'm sure it hasn't passed your notice that I'm a guy!" 

Janet shrugged. "I don't know, Colonel. Hopefully Daniel will have found something when he gets back from the planet." 

_Well, THIS is going to make for an interesting debriefing._ Jack moaned and let his head fall back on the pillow of the medical cot he was currently inhabiting in the infirmary. His eyes were automatically drawn to the side, where a frozen image had been captured on the monitor of an ultrasound. A tiny life, not even begun yet, had a hold of his insides, was depending on him to survive. He didn't know how to feel about that, but he knew one thing for certain. Things were really going to get interesting around here. 

* * *

_Well that's the teaser. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging...for TOO long. >:) _


	2. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: See prologue. _

Author's note: I'm going to try to post something on this at least once a week, usually more. Reviews will help this process, I promise. ^_^ 

* * *

Three weeks earlier... 

PX3-983 hadn't seemed like a dangerous world, but SG-1 had known better than to take that for granted. They came through the wormhole ready for action, but there was still an air of routine to their actions. They had done this so often that readiness was routine, and they were rarely surprised so close to the Gate because of that. Daniel wanted to check out a temple that the UAV had spotted in the distance, and that had been the only real thing of interest that either the MALP or the UAV had discovered, so there were no objections. 

The climate and foliage were similar to the Pacific Northwest in fall. The surrounding raingorest was as cold as its tropical cousins were warm. The greenery, which was much blue-er than Earth vegitation, generally had three edges rather than two, like the feathers that fletched an arrow. There were no flat-leaved plants, including the grasses. It would have been very interesting, if not for the rain that could be seen sweeping through the trees like a broom across a hardwood floor. They barely beat the rain to the temple, in fact. 

Jack looked out at the rain in disgust. "Well, it looks like we're stuck here for a while. Daniel, Teal'c, go ahead and look around while Carter and I set up camp." They nodded and set out. 

There were torches lining the walls, and after making sure that the sconces weren't hidden triggers, Daniel took one off the wall and lit it with the cigarrette lighter that was a part of his standard equipment. The material was modern enough that it didn't crumbe to dust, but old enough that it caught easily, burning brightly in the darkness of the temple. He lit another torch with his and handed it to Teal'c, and they continued to light those on the walls as they moved further in. 

Looking around, Daniel was immediately in his element. "It looks like this is a Temple of Demeter, the Greek goddess of firtility and the harvest. I wonder if that was the Goa'uld who originally brought humans to this place." 

Teal'c said, "I have never heard of a system lord with this name." 

"Well, she might have been calling herself Ceres, as well. That's what the Romans called her. Or the humans here might have originally worshiped her before they were taken from Earth." They continued toward the interior, finding several of the things one would expect in a moderately sized temple somewhere in Ancient Greece, like Damascus or Corinth. There were prayer rooms for the devotees, as well as a central alter which would have been draped with either a fur or a cloth and piled high with the first offerings of the harvest. She was primarily the goddess of grain, but Demeter controlled the weather and was sought out to bless a marriage with firtility, so there were cerimonies all through the growing season. In the winter, it was thought best to leave her alone, as everyone knew that she mourned her daughter, Persephone's, absence, since she was bound to remain with Hades during that time, but in the other three seasons of the year, Demeter's temples were usually a place of sober celebration. 

Then they found something different. There was another chamber in the very back of the temple, a circular marble room. The surounding wall was covered from floor to ceiling with an illustrated story. There was another alter here, this one made of naquada, with a crystal pedestal behind it. 

Wanting to take the room one thing at a time, and knowing that the story on the walls probably provided an explanation, Daniel imediately got to work on translating the carvings. He rambled as he worked, the whole story coming out as he translated it in his head. "The Goddess Demeter came to this place to escape the destruction of the gods, and here she met the false gods who had been the cause of that destruction. It was because of them that people no longer wished to believe in the gods, that they were looking for something else to believe in. She watched them and knew that they were evil, that the people who served them did so out of fear for their lives and not out of devotion or choice. She stood against the evil ones, making a great winter storm and freezing all of them to death when they had sent their servants away. Her storm came so quickly that they were frozen in place, and she shattered them all with a great wind. 

"But when the servants returned, it was discovered that one of their number had not been allowed to leave with the others, the wife of their leader, and she had been gravid with his first child. It sorrowed Demeter greatly that she had made this mistake, and she offered the man a gift. If he could care for it alone, she would give him a new child to replace the one that was lost. He agreed, and she instructed them on how it could be done. They built a temple with an alter made of the godstone." 

Daniel was three quarters of the way around the room, still making sketches of the beautiful relief carvings that depicted the story, when Jack and Sam made their way into the room finally. Daniel told them what he'd discovered so far, then got into a conversation with Sam on who or what Demeter could really have been, while Jack took a look around himself. He didn't notice it when he stepped on a carving in the floor, but the results were quickly obvious. 

Jack was suddenly surrounded by a soft white light, blueish against the red of the torch flames. Then a small orb of pure energy touched first him and then every other person in the chamber. A voice came out of nowhere, soft and feminine, warm and inviting. It said, "In honor of those who were lost to you, accept this gift, then live your life in whatever peace you may find." 

The orb came back to Jack, hovering in front of his face for a while, as though looking him in the eye. Jack stared at it in wonder, and said, "Hi." It bobbled a bit, a sound coming from it like, well, a giggle, then it zipped around his body once, finally coming to rest at his abdomen, where it sank into his body painlessly. A feeling of pleasure suddenly suffused him, one so intense that when it passed, he just said "Woah," and then passed out. 

* * *


	3. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: See prologue._

* * *

Jack woke up in the infirmary to the voice of Dr. Frasier. "Welcome back, Colonel. How are you feeling?" 

He looked at her. "Okay, I guess. Just a little groggy. What happened, Doc?" 

Janet shrugged. "We're not sure. What do you remember?" 

He shifted a bit on the table. "Well, we were on the latest planet inside a temple. Daniel was getting all excited, and it didn't look like there was too much to worry about, so I let him explore the place with Teal'c while Carter and I set up camp. Once we were done, we went to see how Danny and T were faring. They were in a big circular room with carvings all over the wall, and I guess Danny was telling us what they meant. I guess I stepped on something, then we got a cool light show, and there was some lady talking about a gift to honor those we've lost, and then...well I don't remember much after that." 

Janet said, "Well, it looks like you're going to be all right. We're not even sure why you passed out. You do have some elevated hormone levels, but they're not anything to worry about. I'm going to want to monitor your condition for a while, though, so I want you to stay on base for at least a week." Jack looked at her sourly, but she stood firm. "No arguments, Colonel." 

* * *

That week went by fine, and even though his hormone levels were still elevated, Janet didn't see any reason to keep him confined to the base, so she returned him to active duty with the stipulation that he get regular checks once a month to monitor the hormones. They were still a puzzle, and Janet didn't want to let anything get out of hand. 

One week after Jack was back on the roster, they had to go to a Tok'ra world to help bail them out. A Goa'uld named Dahoc had discovered their hiding place, and they needed help to get everyone evacuated, so they naturally called Earth. That whole week was hectic, dealing with the casualties and finding a new hidey hole for their allies, and then next week they had to deal with an inspector coming on the base to check for efficiency, which irked everyone to no end. The creep bugged Sam's people in her lab, Daniel in his, and Jack in his office. He had the sense to avoid Teal'c, but he kept questioning the alien's worth to the program. All of SG-1 had to restrain themselves from decking him, and Hammond told him that if he didn't have anything constructive to say, he could get out. 

With all the activity, it was easy to ignore a problem, but when the nausea progressed into vomitting, Jack couldn't ignore it any longer. He went to the infirmary, praying it was just a stomach virus, and he would be back on track in a few days. 

Concerned, especially considering the abnormal hormone levels, so she took an X-ray of his abdomen and found a growth. Fear for her collegue shot through her, but she didn't want to jump to any conclusions, so she took blood for another full workup and ordered an ultrasound, which could give her a much clearer picture of the mass. 

What she found startled her. She had to increase the magnification to be certain, but in the end, there was no doubt as to what was growing inside her patient. "Oh, God." 

Jack thought, _Okay, NOT the way to inspire confidence in your patients._ "What? What did you find?" 

Realising that she was scaring him, the doctor said, "Well, I guess congratulations are in order, Colonel. You're pregnant." 

* * *

General Hammond and the rest of SG-1 were called to the infirmary. "What's this about, Doctor?" 

Janet had no intention of having a free-for-all of questioning in her infirmary, so she answered as succinctly as she could and she spoke to all of them, including Jack. "To be blunt, Colonel O'Neill is pregnant. We don't know how it happened, but as far as I can tell at this early stage, it happened three weeks ago. That's assuming a normal rate of growth for a human embryo. The baby has attached itself to the peritoneum, the lining between the abdominal muscles and the internal organs, and from there to Jack's blood supply. For what we're talking about, that's the best place for it. The baby will have plenty of room to grow there without putting the Colonel in danger and the blood supply won't be in danger. 

"However, this whole situation is dangerous, for both of them. Male anatomy was not designed with carriage in mind. With a woman, the uterus protects the body from the baby's presence and movements, as well as protecting they baby from the mother's movements. Jack and his baby don't have that protection. He's going to have to go on hormones and vitamin supliments. I don't have to ground him yet, physically, but I really don't want him going off world and I don't think that leaving the base would be a good idea once he starts to show, but that won't happen for another twelve to fifteen weeks. I don't wan't you going to your cabin, either. I want you where you can get back to me quickly." Jack grimaced, but he nodded. 

Already focusing on the puzzle, Daniel said, "Three weeks?" Janet nodded. "The Temple of Demeter. That's the only explanation. She gave a child to a man who had lost both his own child and any means of producing another one. That fits you, Jack." 

Hammond asked the first, and most important question first. "Colonel, I'm not going to dictate to you what you should do here. You're going to have to decide what is best for you. Do you want to keep this child?" 

Jack shook his head. "I need some time to think, General. Give me twenty four hours. I'll have made my decision by then." 

* * *

_Thanks for all the great reviews! This is a real experiment for me, and I wasn't sure I could make it work. I've read a lot of slash M-pregs in several different fandoms, but I can't write slash. I just can't wrap my head around it very well. I still wanted to try this, though, so I came up with this senario. Just a reminder; the only medical knowledge I have is my transcription training. I do have access to an on-line pregnancy guide, but that is my only source of info, so if I make mistakes along the way, I apologize._


	4. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: See prologue._

* * *

Jack sat in his quarters on the base, thinking hard. SG-1 always ended up in strange situations, but this was a bit much. He was the first man on Earth to become pregnant. He almost wished he could call Guinness. He felt like a freak. 

And yet, he didn't want to end the pregnancy. He might not have asked for this, but when he thought of the life growing within him, he felt giddy, hopeful. He didn't want to give up the chance at raising this child. He was worried, knowing that going ahead was going to be dangerous for both him and the baby, but he knew he wanted to try. 

His biggest worry, though, was the NID. He didn't want to chance Mayborne getting his slimy paws on either him or the child. He knew that it was a very big possibility that NID had a spy in the SGC. They could very well find out about this and come in with orders to take him before they could act to keep them out of it. They would have to act quickly. 

There was a knock at the door, and Jack made a bet with himself as to who the knocker might be. He opened it to Daniel, winning the bet. "Jack? Can I come in?" 

He nodded and turned to sit on the bed again. "Sure, Danny." Daniel took the chair that was pushed up to the unused desk, pulling it around to look at his CO. 

"So, what are you going to do?" 

Jack sighed. "I want to try, but I'm worried about someone finding out about this and trying to make me and the baby into lab rats." 

Daniel nodded. "Yeah, I thought of that. We should probably make a preemptive strike on that, call the President and inform him of the situation, get him to keep NID out of it." 

"You think he would? I mean, let's face it. This sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi flick." 

"We could always send you off-world with a medical team to one of the uninhabited worlds if things really got bad. Hell, we could even send you back to PX3-983. The human settlements on that world are three hundred miles to the south, so you wouldn't be bothered by hanging around the Gate." 

"I'm already having morning sickness, and I'm only three weeks along. This is not going to be fun." 

Daniel grinned at him. "Yeah. You're going to get cranky and Janet's going to wish she could risk tranquilizing you. You make the worst patient, Jack." 

He grinned right back, putting both hands over his heart. "You wound me, Dr. Jackson." Daniel just laughed at him. 

* * *

His decision made, Jack felt much better with the idea. Janet gave him some vitamin B6 tablets to help combat the nausea, as well as putting him on a strict diet. She didn't restrict his exercise regimen except for telling him no heavy calisthenics, which he detested anyway. He could still jog twice a week and work with free-weights in the gym. The exercise would do him and the baby both good. He was also forced to give up caffeine, but Sam knew of an excellent brand of decaffeinated coffee and she started buying it for him. The taste more than made up for the lack of caffine, and he thought he might stick with it even after the baby was born. 

Janet insisted that Jack come twice a week for a check up, not wanting to take even the slightest chance with the health of either the Colonel or his baby. But thankfully, there was never anything amis for her to report. 

Jack found himself wearing sweats since most of his clothes fit him perfectly under normal circumstances and his waist was already expanding slightly, and the nausea lasted for several weeks. He was irritable from the discomfort, snapping at the least little thing. When he bit Sam's head off for asking him how he was doing, she told him that if he did it again she'd take the risk of being arrested for striking a superior officer. That incident made Jack realize what he was doing, so he apologized to everyone and things went much more smoothly from then on. He started having weird cravings in the seventh week, particularly chocolate-covered frenchfries and strawberry jello with onions in it. 

Jack ended up having to take estrogen as well, which knocked his emotions even further out of whack. Janet assured him that this happened with a lot of pregnancies, but it was worse for him because he wasn't used to expressing his emotions heavily. He had to remind himself not to watch any female oriented TV because from week ten onward he started crying at the smallest provacation, irritating him to no end. 

Janet and Sam got started on the baby shower in about week eleven. They planned it for the end of the first trimester at week thirteen, giving themselves plenty of time to get things together. Daniel had fun trying to explain the concept of the shower to Teal'c, but once he realized what it was, the Jaffa had no trouble with participating. In fact, he took a short trip to Chulak to get a couple of traditional baby gifts. Word was quietly spread around the base, and one of the storage rooms quickly filled up with gifts from the SG teams. The knew not to get him a crib, as Jack had already told Sam that he planned on getting Charlie's out of storage, but bed linnens and a new matress were bought for it. Clothes, toys, diapers and other essentials were quietly passed to Sam, Janet or Daniel, neatly wrapped, then stuck under a tarp in that storage room just incase Jack should get bored and go wandering around the compound. 

Jack was starting to feel more level at his fifth checkup, so he didn't even think about it when General Hammond asked him to come to the Gate room to help with some minor loading and unloading. Once assured that Janet had cleared him for it, he went right along. Several others were headed that way, but he was the last one through the door. 

When he went in, however, he got the shock of his life. There were plenty of packages, but they were obviously not going through the Gate. They were all wrapped in baby-print gift wrap or gift bags with tissue sticking out the top. One of the packages was huge, and he figured it was a crib matress. The second largest one was suspiciously cylindrical, and he just knew that it was a new set of tires for his Jeep. But there were close to a hundred gifts stacked around the Gate ramp and on the platform. It was the only room in the compound that was big enough to hold the sixty-odd people who had come to what was now obviously a baby shower. He looked at Hammond. "You tricked me, sir." 

The General grinned. "All in good cause, Colonel." 

The shower went well. In addition to the crib matress and the tires, there were plenty of clothes and toys for the baby and clothes for Jack while he was dealing with an expanding waist line. Teal'c's gifts were the most spectacular, however. One was the Chulak version of a dream catcher, a hand carved lotus blossom made from native wood that would be placed above the child's head as he or she slept to bless their dreams. The other was a hand-woven blanket of native wool for Jack that could be worn as a robe when he was up walking the floor with the baby at three in the morning. Since the thing was meant for both men and women, Teal'c had felt it only apropriate. The weaving was colorful and intricate, and the Jack wasn't alergic to Chulaki wool as he was to sheep's wool, so the gift was much apreciated. 

The party was over, the gifts having been loaded onto a cart to be taken to Jack's Jeep later, when suddenly the first chevron on the Gate activated. Instantly, the room wasn't full of friends any longer, but trained soldiers. As the alarms went off and the Gate continued its cycle, General Hammond called out, "Do we have a GDO signal?" 

The man up in the control room stood and reached for the intercom. "It's a Tok'ra signal, sir." 

"Open the iris." Hammond turned to O'Neill. "Get out of sight, Colonel. We don't want the Tok'ra knowing what's going on." 

Jack nodded and turned to leave, grabbing Daniel as he went as help to get the cart of gifts out. One soldier showed some foresight and got the trash can full of wrapping detrius and slid it under the embarkation ramp to hide it. Before the iris was open enough to allow the arriving guests to enter without splatting against the iris, the Gate room looked just like it always did, with marines formed up to guard against possible Goa'uld attack, P-90s aimed at the visitors in case they should prove hostile. 

As the door to the Gate room slid shut, Jack said, "This is going to be a very interesting day." 

Daniel smirked. "No kidding, Jack." 

* * *

_There you have it, Chapter Three. I hope you all enjoyed it. I'd like to thank all of you wonderful reviewers out there! I got seven reviews for Chapter Two! That's so cool! _


	5. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: See prologue. _

Author's note: Just a quick note; 10 points to Gryphindor for Emily's catch on the QL refference, and 10 points to Ravenclaw for Butterfly's pointing out about Damascus. I stuck that one in there because they're always using it on Hercules TLJ. Remember that this is a slight x-over. It's good to know that I have observant readers. 

* * *

The Gate opened, admitting first Jacob Carter/Selmak and then three other Tok'ra. Obeying etiquette, barely, Sam didn't rush to embrace her father, but once he'd shaken hands with the General, Jacob didn't let that etiquette stop him. "It's good to see you, Sam." 

She smiled. "You too, Dad." 

General Hammond then said, "So, what can we do for the Tok'ra, Jacob?" 

He smiled. "We just need a rest stop, George. We've been undercover for a while, and we could use some beds for the night. We'll go on to the current base in the morning, but right now we just need a safe place to sleep without having to answer a lot of questions about 'how did the mission go' and all that." 

Hammond nodded without hesitation. "Of course. Major Carter, if you'll show our guests to quarters for the night?" 

"Of course. This way, gentlemen." 

* * *

Daniel and Jack had finally finished loading all the gifts into the Jeep and were headed back into the silo when they were met by an airman. "Colonel O'Neill. General Hammond has requested that you sign out and go home for the day. General Carter and his guests will be staying overnight before returning home." 

Jack sighed. "Understood, Airman." They both saluted the other, then returned just inside the entrance. Daniel signed out along with Jack, asking the airman to pass the message along that he'd done so. Jack looked at him with one eyebrow raised in question. 

"I've got a couple of thoughts on your condition, and I want to run them past you in a private setting." In other words, he wanted to talk about Jack's pregnancy away from the base, where they thought there might be an NID spy. 

Jack nodded. "Alright. I've got a couple of steaks I can throw on the grill. We'll make a day of it." The pair went back to the Jeep and headed for Jack's house in Colorado Springs. 

* * *

The steaks were on the grill and Daniel had thrown together a salad and gotten the sodas out before they brought up the subject again. "So, Danny, what's on your mind?" 

"I got the pictures from P3X-983 back. I hadn't finished translating the mural when all the excitement went down, and until just yesterday, I had forgotten about it. So last night, I translated the rest of the mural. Aparently, after the alter was finished, the man came and she made the child from his seed and that of those around him, then planted it inside his belly. He stayed in and around the temple until it was time for the child to be born, and then Demeter took it from him without pain." 

"So I'm supposed to go back there?" 

"Whatever caused this is still active in that temple, Jack. If it will help you, I think we should try it." 

Jack thought about it, but he could already see several problems with this senario. "Doc said I'm grounded." 

"So we take her with us. That way, if there's any problems with you using the Gate, she'll be right there to deal with it." 

"If this Demeter person─thing─want's me to stay there, it's going to be for around six and a half months." 

"You're mostly out of the game right now anyway. We could set up a temporary base camp there just outside the temple, since the nearest human settlement is about three hundred miles south, and not interfere with them. Besides, it's nice there, and that stream you noticed on the way in was full of some kind of fish. Even if they aren't edible, you could have fun catching them, and if they are, all the better." 

Jack grinned. "Yeah, that would be good. Okay, what do we do about the nosy people of our friendly neighborhood NID? They're bound to ask questions about a six-to-seven month absence." 

"Yeah." Daniel thought about it. "We need more heads on this one. But we'd have plenty of time to figure something out, and as long as you're there on P3X-983, they can't touch you. I doubt the Tok'ra will be a problem, but I'm betting that the temple has some defences that would work just as well against them as they did against the Goa'uld. I doubt that the first part of the story on the walls was false since the second half is undoubtably true." 

Jack nodded. "Okay. This sounds like a good idea. Once Selmak and his friends are gone, we'll give your idea to Hammond. 'Course, the Doc has to approve the whole thing." 

"Of course, Jack." 

* * *

The next day they talked to Hammond and Frasier. The doctor was reluctant at first, but eventually she agreed to the proposal. If it would help Jack, then she thought it would be worth it to risk the Gate. "If it turns out that you do have to stay, then we can bring in everything for the base camp." 

It was agreed that all of SG-1 would go with Jack to the planet. Since the child was a result of their work, the team felt like it was _theirs,_ not just his. It was guaranteed that the baby would be well loved by all of them, and would probably be the darling of the mountain. But everyone was afraid of loosing both father and child because of the danger that the unusual pregnancy posed to both of them. This seemed like the best chance to save both of them. 

* * *

_Finally! There's chapter four. Sorry it took so long, but RL decided to drop kick me recently. My fiance broke up with me and I had to move back in with my Mom, and it's just been bad. But I hope to be able to pick up the pace for a while. Feedback is more than welcome. _


End file.
